Don't want to get into much detail. Just need to rant. The next few lines will most likely feature some self-deprecation , profanity and emo crap. You've been warned.
So I'm a total screw-up. I've been trying my best not to be, but I always end up screwing up even more. To be nerdy for a second: have you watched/read D. Gray-man? I feel like Miranda Lotto before becoming an exorcist. Except, in my case, there's not going to be an innocence powered clock, rewinding town... or me becoming an exorcist. I would totally rather be killing demons than doing what I do right now. I've been feeling like shit lately. I don't really want to tell too many people because I'm sure they have other things to worry about than my pathetic life. Right now, I feel like I've reached a place where I've screwed-up so much and I won't amount to anything because of all the things I've fucked up on in the past. I hate being so lazy and just so fucking stupid. I can't seem to help it... which is a really bad sign. I'd like to change but every time I try to do that, I end up giving up. FML.
I've been listening to certain songs and looking stuff up to make me feel better. I've started watching more shows online in an attempt to make me laugh my troubles away. I've watched Crows ZERO a total of 6 times so far... mostly because when I get pissed. I take joy in watching people kick other people's asses.
So I suppose that's the end of ranting.
Time to think positively. Yeah, let's try that.
I'm getting paid tomorrow. I'm probably gonna get alot since I've worked more than 30 hours these last 2 weeks.
My uncle sent me a confirmation form of the hotel room my friends and I are gonna share at anime north.
This Friday is the day where we have to claim tables for anime north.
I don't have work for one week.
My brother and I are gonna watch The Watchmen this Saturday, followed by book shopping and eating out for lunch. I don't get to hang out as much with my brother because of school and work so I'm really glad that he wanted to watch this movie just with me. Although... It could be the fact that it's an R rated movie and I could get the tickets no problem, but let's just assume it's because he wants to spend time with me.
My second semester classes are starting tomorrow. I get a new start and maybe I can break my streak of being a fuck up.
My piercing doesn't really hurt anymore.
Right when I got home feeling like crap, my friend sent me a super long email in response to the emails and messages I've sent her. That made me feel so much better.
Wow, this made me feel alot better too. I apologize for all the swearing. I can't eat any candy because I gave up junkfood for Lent. This will probably be the only way I can cope with stress... and sugar deprivation.
And now, I need food. Then I have to attempt to make notes for a midterm I'm having next Tuesday. Pray for me.
The End.
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