Emerald Street.

So the frustration I discussed yesterday has spilled over to today. 

I've been up since 6:30AM and my day has already been ruined. 

As I'm getting ready to leave, my dad finds it oh-so-convenient to finally wake up and ask me a myriad of questions. All of which were repetitive, irrelevant and so very annoying. Because of this, I missed the bus by 2 minutes. The bus wasn't coming for another hour. An hour I could have used to be at the gym to work out. FML.

I've already had to compromise my time at the gym because of my parents' stupidity. I hate how I have to suffer the consequences of the stupid little things they do. At this rate, I'll be fat forever. I really want to move out now. I don't think this is just a temporary frustration-based notion. I really want to get out of here. I'd only have to take care of myself and I wouldn't have to deal with all the bullshit I've been going through this whole summer. Guess I'm gonna try saving up for an apartment so I can get the  hell out of here by third or fourth year. 

I think I'll try to get to work every weekend. 

Now, I don't usually like to work during the weekend... or at all, but during the weekends especially. My sister has taken it upon herself to visit us. Every. Single. Weekend. I can only tolerate so much of her. I'm already annoyed with her when she's away. She calls our house a minimum of 3-4 times, everyday. Then she goes on to further bother us on msn messenger. How much more when she's actually here? 

She's on what she calls a "sci-fi binge". More like yet another trend that she's adopted to give herself some credibility to her otherwise conformist, uninteresting personality. I've noticed this quite a lot. Each year, she finds some sort of trend to follow and becomes so very engrossed in it. And then she begins to research and gain knowledge about this trend to spew out to others as if she'd liked this thing all along. First it's Korean culture, then Japanese culture (she even started trying to watch anime. Trust me, if you knew her before, she would NEVER to do that. She constantly ridiculed me for having an interest in this and for cosplaying), and now sci-fi. If I lived by myself, I wouldn't have to deal with her being here so often... because she wouldn't be at my house. 

Oh how enticing it would be to live by myself. 

Hopefully things will look up today. I think I'll go to church early, hang out with my friend while she's working and buy some art supplies. I won't have to deal with my family for a few hours. Sounds wonderful.

The End.

Young Cardinals.

AOF is really good to listen to when you're pissed or frustrated, I find.

I'm more frustrated and annoyed today. Why?

Because I hate when people touch my stuff. 

Now that may seem a little territorial.. or selfish or something. 

But allow me to explain. 

You know when you leave things somewhere, assuming they'll still be there when you need them... but then you find that your parents have decided to clean up. And during that time, they take the liberty of taking your stuff, hiding it and never telling you what the hell the did with it. Now, you're probably too busy to notice because of course you have a life. But when it comes to the time when you need that thing you left behind, you can't find it. Realizing that this situation happens way too often, you ask your stupid parents where they put that thing you need. And of course, being stupid as they are, they tell you they don't know. Then they blame you for "leaving your stuff around" and  that "you should have left those things in your room". Now isn't that frustrating?  

More and more I'm thinking about moving out. I really wouldn't mind paying my own rent or taking care of myself. I do that already since all my parents do is sleep all day. I'm the middle child that has to work for everything as I see my older, first born sister getting everything served to her on a silver platter. I already know how to cook and clean. I'm pretty much set. I don't like being where I am right now. It's not even in terms of location or anything. My house is a 15 minute walk and 10 minute bus ride from my school. Pretty convenient. I mean where I am in terms of being treated and feeling trapped in some sort of suburban hell where everything I do is seen as wrong. I'm not allowed to be frustrated because I'm manipulated to think that I brought that frustration upon myself. I hate that feeling. It's like I'm not allowed to actually feel. 

I need to get out of my house. I hate being so dependent. I hate that, in order to obtain any sort of freedom, I find myself once again having to cater to my parents' every whim. I have to follow their schedule or obey their rules. I just want to leave. 

On a more positive note, I got to buy my Special Edition 2- Disc Director's cut copy of Watchmen in a Rorschach case. Plus, I finally got a chance to watch it on my big screen tv. I really want to watch some violent movies. But I think that's a result of my frustration. Since I can't really physically kick anyone's ass, I can just watch other people do it and feel better. 

Well, that's about it for now. I guess I'll clean... and try not to pull my hair out. 

The End.